" The Good Life Is a Process, Not a State of Being. It Is a Direction, Not a Destination." - Praneet Kaur

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1. Tell us about your background and journey and what led to this profession?

I came across Freud's topographical theory when I was in class 10th and it blew my mind. I was so intrigued by it that I left my text books and went on and on with reading Freud. This was my introduction to the world of psychology. I had never felt this passionate about anything before. This is when I knew I want to become a psychologist.

When I was doing my graduation in Patiala, my hometown, I was desperate to do some internships in the field as I wasn’t gaining much from the textbooks. But since Patiala is a small town, it didn’t have much to offer. Very soon, I realized that I’ve chosen a rather unconventional field and that I’m going to have to carve my own path if I want to learn and grow. This was back in 2013, when I borrowed a book from my psychology teacher which I never read because I found something more interesting in that book, a brochure. This brochure was of a psychology workshop by a very rebounded psychologist that was happening in a city about 2 hours from Patiala. And the next thing I knew was that I was getting ready for the workshop. I didn’t care about the fact that this workshop was only for parents and teachers as it was on the topic 'Handling Adolescents' and I myself was one.

This workshop changed everything for me. There was no stopping after that. It made me drop all my small-town girl inhibitions and reach for the skies. I started organizing psychology events in my own college just so I can benefit from them. Then I started working at Fortis Hospital Mohali each summer for the next 2 years of my undergrad and moved to Delhi for my higher studies. By the time I enrolled in my master’s program I had already experienced working in a renowned hospital, wrote and directed plays on mental health, worked with addiction clients in a rehab, won district level debate competitions and networked with a lot of psychologists in Delhi. Then I went on to completing my masters in clinical psychology and I have been working ever since.


2. What are some common myths in society about psychology? 

Stigma continues to surround mental health in our society. One of the most common myths about psychology is that it is a discipline that teaches you how to read minds. Clearly, people have difficulty distinguishing between a palm reader and a psychologist. A psychologist is a professional who specializes in dealing with people’s mental, emotional and behavioral issues. Some of the other myths include- “Crazy people go to psychologists”, “If you’re going to a psychologist it means you’re dangerous”, “Counseling makes people dependent on psychologists' and the list is endless. However, the truth is that mental health counseling is for anyone who is not able to cope with any kind of stress related to work, relationships, confidence, performance, sleep, routine, etc.

3. How can people practice mindfulness?

Mindfulness is not a practice that you necessarily have to do by sitting in a particular position with closed eyes and no thoughts in mind. One can actually practice mindfulness all day long while doing one’s work. Mindfulness is about living consciously- being aware of one's thoughts, emotions and actions while operating in life. We go on living our life on an autopilot mode for most part, denying certain realities of our life. The first step to mindfulness is looking at those truths and respecting them no matter how harsh they're. For example, admitting truths like, “I know I’m in a toxic relationship but I’m not leaving because I don’t want to be alone”, “I don’t like the profession I’ve chosen”, “I pretend to agree with my parent’s opinion just because I want to be in their good books”, “I do social service only for validation, etc.”


4. What are your tips for people who want to practice this profession?

I have only one tip for people who are going to become psychologists tomorrow, 'Just because we’re psychologists it doesn’t mean we will not fall down or we will not struggle with emotional issues. Seek help before you provide help. Nobody is immune to mental health issues. Just like surgeons can’t do their own surgery, psychologists can’t therapies themselves. Even psychologists need a psychologist. If your own issues are not resolved you cannot do justice to helping other with the same. I always say that “A PSYCHOLOGIST CAN UNDERSTAND A CLIENT ONLY AS DEEPLY AS THEY’VE UNDERSTOOD THEMSELVES”.


5. Is work-life balance a myth or reality according to you? 

Life is as unpredictable, uncertain and as fundamentally unstructured as it can get. There’s only so much structuring that we can do. Both our personal and professional life is a part of who we are. If you had a fight with your wife it’ll come to your mind when you get to work and if you have a presentation the following day you will have to work on it while skipping your family dinner. Sometimes one area demands more of our attention than the other. There is no perfect balance that one can strike. It’s about understanding and acting according to the demand at the time.

6. How according to you can one manage stress?

1. Move your body- the day we keep lying down in our beds for the entire day is the day we end up overthinking the most. When a body is inactive the mind is a little too active. Movement keeps the mind fresh and the thoughts constructive. And workout releases certain chemicals in the body that help fight stress.

2. Invest in healthy relationships only- turns out being in high conflicted relationships not just makes one stressed but also affects the physical health of a person. A lot of studies have shown that one can deal with any stressors of life if they have people to lean on and count on in their lives. Identify your go-to person

3. Journal away- when stress hits the human body it activates the survival mechanism and the mind starts to think about ways to protect itself from any possible emotional harm. When this happens we as humans drop logic and start reacting out of anxiety. Journaling really helps in this case. It helps us slow down and streamline our thoughts, making stress a lot more manageable.

4. Seek help- if you feel that the stress in your life is beyond your control and is becoming difficult for you to manage then do not hesitate to seek professional help from a psychologist. Therapy can change your life like you would never imagine and help you gain more control over your life.

- Praneet Kaur, Pour The Heart Out

- Interviewed and Edited by Shilpy Sharan