People often move or work or do something because there are some triggers. Our purposes in living is described differently through every individual. What we have to do is try to focus on what our purposes are and doing things with OUR PURPOSE as the base.
5 Ways to Practice Self-Restraint?
1. Stop Measuring Your Worth
The second renunciation is giving up measuring how successful your life is by how well your desires are met. Most people measure the success of their lives in just this manner-are they getting what they want in material objects, relationships, recognition, or personal health? It takes so little reflection to see for yourself that this is an unreliable manner for measuring the worth of your life.
I am not saying you should give up your desires or forsake moving toward them. Desires-be they physical, emotional, or spiritual- are part of the ecology of your life. They are the flowering of the tundra in the midst of the harsh conditions that surround all of life.
“The common meaning of the word restraint speaks to holding back, repressing, and keeping control. The implication is that by restraining ourselves, we relinquish freedom and forgo spontaneity. In fact, just the opposite is true. Real freedom comes from not being ruled by our habitual patterns that are based on fear and confusion. And real spontaneity arises from the space that remains when the habits are put to rest.” Dr. Gail Brenner
2. Give up Being the Star
The second renunciation is to give up being the star of your own movie. Without even thinking about it, most people experience each arising moment from the point-of-view that it is happening to them. “Have you ever noticed that when you get on the highway at rush hour that it is everyone else who is the traffic, never you?”. Ajahn Armaro. This perspective leads you to make personal much of what is in fact impersonal. It causes you to make small things important which you later realize were not important. It adds tension to many moments of your daily life that is not inherently there.
The Wisdom of Restraining Yourself
3. Stop Caring What People Think About You
“You want praise from people who kick themselves every 15 minutes, the approval of people who despise themselves.” Marcus Aurelius
“What we think of as our unrestrained behavior coming from free will is most often the reenacting of automatic, unconscious habits.” Dr. Gail Brenner
Do you want to know a great trick for letting go of other people’s opinions? Read a book or watch a YouTube video about space. Right now, I’m reading Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time.
4. Stop Blaming Others
If you don’t take ownership of your mind, someone or something else will. Knowing that you control your reactions to your circumstances gives you a source of power that no one can corrupt.
When situations don’t go the way you want them to, you have to begin feeling sorry for yourself. But if you are lucky, you can catch yourself and focus on the role you played in the situation, and then you know what you can do to make it better.
How to Practice Self-Restraint
5. Make Your Balance
There are real problems in the world, but there’s also a joy to be found. Restraint means making space for both of those facts in your mind.
Focus on your career, but don’t make your career your life. Be prudent, but don’t obsess over money. Spend time with your friends and family without worrying about their problems.
Setting up a day of observance takes planning. You have to be sure that your family and friends know what you are doing so they don’t disturb you. The first time may be a bit hit-and-miss, but don’t give up. The rewards are worth it, and in the end, they will help build your self-restraint and make your life much simpler.
Squabbling over petty issues shows that you lack self-restraint. It happens when you show your proud, conceited, and superior demeanor. Be sure that the clear ideas always come from calm people.
Written By - Hossam Elsakran
Edited By - Kashish Chadha
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