“Even if you are perfect, the
world isn’t. The secret is to know that the deck is stacked, that you will
lose, that your hands or judgment will slip, and yet still struggle to win for
your patients.” These were some of the last words of Paul Kalanithi, a
neurosurgeon, a husband, a father, a writer and most of all, a brave soul who
succumbed to a stage IV metastatic lung cancer.
‘When Breath Becomes Air’ is a memoir on
Paul’s life which was published posthumously in 2016. The heartfelt epilogue
was written by Paul’s wife Lucy Kalanithi, talking about the last precious
moments of the family and hers with Paul when he was in bed, cancer ridden
trying to breathe every ounce of air he was getting. Lucy said her final
goodbye by calling Paul a brave Paladin.
When Breath Becomes Air is an awakening call
for all those people who are scared of death or try to run from it. This book
gives them courage to face death and embrace it.
When Paul got to know about his cancer, he
tried to diagnosed it, examined it, wrestled with it, and ultimately accepted
it. It is often said that the doctors become the worst patients. Paul was also
like them. He tried everything to fight the disease, for himself but for most
of all for his unborn child. But ultimately, when he saw his daughter being
born in front of his own eyes, it seemed nothing but a miracle to him and after
that, he accepted the fact that death is inevitable. So, he decided to enjoy
the little time he had left with his dear ones.
When Breath Becomes Air gave us insights on
how to never lose will and one such instance was when Paul asked his wife to
remarry after his death. He didn’t wanted Lucy to waste his life crying over
him. Rather, he wanted her to work hard and secure a future for her and their
daughter. When at one side Paul was busy maintaining finances for his family’s
future, Lucy was concerned about Paul’s health, his medications, his symptoms.
One was trying to make others future comfortable and the other was striving to
make his present hassle-free. This showed the readers that in the end family is
what matters.
Paul was strong, trying to gracefully
accepting his condition. He accepted reality the way it is. He didn’t expect to
get cured all of a sudden and then call it a miracle. Paul was heartbroken when
he wasn’t able to do surgery anymore. He cried on the day of his diagnosis and
also when he did his last surgery. Thereafter he found solitude in writing. He
felt at ease when he wrote and expressed his feelings which otherwise were hard
to explain.
Paul died on March 9, 2015, surrounded by his
loved one, roughly two hundred yards away from the ward where Paul and Lucy’s
daughter was born eight months back. He had a subtle smile before leaving this
world. He was calm and at peace. He died in the same hospital where once, he
was an excellent neurosurgeon.
On page 115 of this book, he wrote, “You
can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which
you are ceaselessly striving.” Paul’s life is an inspiration for all of us,
because if a person, struggling with cancer can be a man, a son, a husband, a
father and a surgeon all at once then we, as normal people can achieve anything
that we want. All we need is just a never dying attitude and a smile on our
face.
Written By: Anamika Malik
Edited By: Tushna Choksey
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