Women tend to judge themselves a lot. Plus we also tend to be judged more than men by all and sundry. So I suppose it's harder to put ourselves on stage to be judged by a bunch of strangers on a regular basis! Then there’s a question of pre-set notions. I hate it when people mindlessly brand a female comedian’s stuff as “chick comedy”.
1. Tell us about your childhood and journey.
Brought up in a typical fauji household, I grew up all over India and was exposed to different cultures from the North, South, East, and West. That’s why I don’t get the rivalry between the two states. Because when my father used to be out at the front, I don’t think he was fighting for just one part of India! So any time I hear someone ask me which city I like the most, I genuinely start hearing a full-on background track in my head – Assam se Gujarat take, Bengal se Maharashtra tak complete with the dramatic orchestra!
Have moved around so much in my childhood it’s a good thing I was an extrovert. Been a tomboy all my life. Was being mistaken for a boy even in college! That’s why when my trolls try and call me She-Man or some such gender-based “insult”, I’ve had practice. My grandfather was a retired Superintendent of police and my dad a General in the Indian army, so my upbringing was pretty regimented – never allowed to sleep in too late or stay out late or even be late!
Plus both men were feminists and believed in equality so I knew I’d have to work for my living. My mom was the creative one in the family. Always actively learning some new skill or doing a new course while being a school teacher and later a school Principal. I was a science student in school. Graduated in English literature. Post-graduation in Journalism, Mass com.
Have wanted to be a detective, a pilot, an army soldier, a policewoman, a doctor, a professor till my mom pointed out that I would probably be disruptive everywhere but in a creative field. Started out in advertising. Then quit as Senior Creative Director at JWT after working in advertising for almost 12 years. Then headed a team of writers for Sesame Street USA’s Indian venture – Galli Galli Sim Sim. So basically I have largely used humor to get my point across always.
Started doing stand-up as a hobby and was immensely surprised when people started offering me money to do it! Strangely enough, it was my mother who pushed me into advertising. I suppose she knew I’d be a misfit in any profession for sane people.
More than anything else, I’m accident-prone. According to my parents, if anything has to go wrong, it will go wrong with me. My dad often jokes that he could empty a room of all its furniture and I’d still manage to trip on my own feet (it happened only once!). I guess that’s why I feel I’m the “chosen one” of Murphy.
2. What was the turning point for you in your profession?
I had gone to see Collin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood of the “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” fame performs in Delhi. They have a round in which they enact a situation on stage and get volunteers from the audience to provide sound effects for them on the mike. I was one such volunteer.
Initially, I dutifully made sounds that matched their story. But after some point, I decided to have fun and started randomly yelping like a dog and making crazy sound effects. Brad and Colin had to keep weaving their story around my sound effects. The audience too was having a ball.
At the end of the round Colin said they normally never picked female volunteers for this round since females tend to be reticent. But he thanked me for a good job and said I was really funny and should try my hand at stand-up comedy. That was it. I decided to take it up as a challenge as “reticent” isn’t an adjective people would ever use to describe me!
3. What are the challenges you face as a comedian?
The biggest challenge is always to come up with fresh material. And lately, an added challenge is to ensure that that material will get you a laugh and not an FIR.
4. Why, according to you, still only a few women have succeeded in this field?
For a change, I would really like to see how a male comic answers this question. Firstly the ratio of men vs female comics is massively skewered. With fewer female comics in the field, even fewer are likely to succeed. That being said, it is also a question of biases and acceptability. Talking about India, ours is still a conservative society with clearly defined (at least in their heads!) gender roles and some people find it harder to deal with a female comedian being outspoken.
There is also an element of personal safety involved with the late nights and the travel to all sorts of places, performing for different kinds of people – a combination that doesn’t sit well with most parents. But the response I have received so far across the country has surprised me rather pleasantly. I guess social approval plays a large part.
Women tend to judge themselves a lot. Plus we also tend to be judged more than men by all and sundry. So I suppose it's harder to put ourselves on stage to be judged by a bunch of strangers on a regular basis! Then there’s a question of pre-set notions. I hate it when people mindlessly brand a female comedian’s stuff as “chick comedy”.
That right there is blatant sexism. I talk about hospitals and funerals and phones and doctors and joint families and intolerance - all the other topics that any male comedian might talk about as well. How come a male comedian’s comedy never gets branded “stud comedy”? The stereotype is that women are not funny. That’s only because men don’t listen.
5. Do you fear for your safety being a political comedian?
I didn’t realize I was a political comedian! Will have to be careful from now on! I do think of myself as an observational comedian who weaves in social messages in her comedy, delivered in a tongue-in-cheek way. If there is a chance that the joke might offend someone, I tend to deliver it with a big beaming smile to take out the sting.
After all, I’m here to make you laugh at life and forget your worries and stress for a little while. I mostly talk about life as it happens to me. But yes, in the current atmosphere of growing intolerance my parents do worry about my safety. You never know who may take offense to what!
6. How do you manage to take up serious issues and make them funny?
I believe that nothing is funnier than the truth. I tend to be fairly honest in my comedy, laying out how I feel about a particular situation and it’s the honesty that people find funny.
7. How have you sustained economically especially in Covid?
I have done a few online corporate shows. But have been majorly relying on my savings.
8. How do you cope with bullying and online harassment?
I rarely respond to trolls because attention is exactly what they want. However when I’m bored (which is a lot lately!), I do occasionally indulge in a bit of online sparring.
Eventually one has to realize that it’s nothing but a bunch of people with low IQ and EQ and high broadband speeds. Though to be honest, I wish there was a fitness routine that helped one develop thick skin along with muscles.
One of the pioneers of English Stand Up comedy in India, Neeti has worn many professional hats - Senior Creative Director in advertising at JWT, Head Writer for Sesame Street USA’s Indian venture (Galli Galli Sim Sim), Bollywood screenplay writer for a movie that was produced by Salman Khan. She was voted as the best Stand Up Comic at the Oz Fest and was India’s first Stand Up to perform at Melbourne for the prestigious Melbourne Comedy Festival. She has done more than 1000 shows across India and abroad. Is one of 24 comedians across Asia to be featured on Comedy Central Asia. Has TV credits on ABC Melbourne. She has a one-hour special on Amazon Prime called "Almost Sanskari". Recently she was also a judge on Amazon Prime's Comicstaan.
Interviewed By - Gagan Deep Kaur
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