Does Marriage Counselling Really Helps To Make the Marriage Work

 

A Marriage helps two imperfect people in getting together and bringing out the very best from each other putting forth their individuality and thoughts. But it is not easy to let anyone opinionated your thoughts and decisions.

The major reasons of marital fights are clashes in opinions and disagreements.Those who couldn’t make it file for divorce in order to separate their ways.

Although, in India, divorce rate is less than 1% but this doesn’t mean that the things are going alright. There are several relationships that are on the verge of breaking up but the child or the family restricts them.

 

 

Why Are Marriages Falling Apart?

In this male dominating society, women are now coming forward and making their marks in the corporate world. They are independent and are no longer looking for money from their husbands.

This is the major reason for wedge in marriages. Different opinions and priorities sometimes turn out to be a major fight between them.

Additionally, a marriage isn’t only about two souls coming together but includes a whole lot of family.

Misunderstanding among family members can be a reason for constant fights and thus marital issues. Extramarital affairs and trust issues are common reasons for parting marriage.

The way out to marital issues is marriage/marital counseling.

Marital Consultancy

Now a days, Marital/ Marriage counselling is making its ways to help the couples in saving their relationships by resolving their personal issues.

While discussing about what does counselling do or how it saves relationships, we can conclude that a therapist works on the problem of both, the husband and the wife, and then advice them accordingly. Their experience and “no judgement” policy helps a lot of couple in restoring their lagging marriage.

In Hindustan Times, Kinjal Pandya told, “The number of people showing up for marriage counselling is rising".

Impact on Women’s Lives

Marriage consultancy bring forward numerous problems for women: Society and consultants make women believe that women are so strong that they could face anything. That’s why in order to show their selflessness and care, they should adjust themselves according to the dominant man.

Manipulation and tumbling words influence them to give their marriage a try and live in an aggressive relationship for whole life.

“Why Most of the Time a Woman Faces the Issue of Gender Inequality During Counselling”?

Most of the time, consultants try to manipulate women only. It’s their job to save marriages and thus they make use of the emotional side of women in order to prove her guilty for their straggling relationship.

Instead of solving the issues or grievance, she is put under the pressure to save her marriage for their children and the family.

The society believes that a husband is equivalent to god for a woman and hence he is given the right to control his wife’s actions. 

But what about the woman, her rights, her thoughts and beliefs. Well, with the decision to continue the no-going-well marriage, a woman also sacrifices her rights and opinions.

 

Consulting a Counselor

Couples may prefer consulting a counselor due to many reasons such as Man’s little contribution towards their marriage or woman’s docility with in laws or prioritization of career.

But instead of getting positive results many women or the female candidate of the couple have been asked to sacrifice their career.

Even in today’s Modern world, it is seen that in most of the houses, life of a girl child always revolves around a single word ADJUST. Most common statements a female usually hear are-

“He is the Man of the family, Adjust according to his needs”

 “He is your brother he is allowed to do anything;you are a girl so you have to adjust”.

 Isn’t it disturbing that now MARRIAGE COUNSELORS have also started using this word to resolve the issues?  If a man is not bounder for his actions, then why can’t woman also get a chance to fly high with no guilt of losing her relationship behind?

Counselling and Strong Relationship

It is commendable that Traditional Marriage counselling have the success rate of 70-80%. Marriage counselling set the life of busy couples back to their track so that both the partners can get some time to build-up their relationship.

It not only fixes things but also builds stronger roots for future too. Even the Goa government has stated that “Premarital Marriage Counselling Is Mandatory” in Goa from now.

 It’s true that marriage counselling doesn’t give a guarantee about your happy life but it helps in improving the relationship.

Wrapping Up

The only solution for a successful marriage counselling is that both the MEN and WOMEN should be given priority in explaining where their marriage is lacking, what are the things they want from their partner.

Counselor must advice both the parties to contribute towards a happy married life instead of cursing one another for disturbed married life.

It is beautifully said that “A Great marriage is not when the perfect couple come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to accept each other's flaws.”

 

Written by - Radhika Gandhi

Edited by - Adrija Saha