Ananda Lewis - Instead of Letting the Hardships Define You and Destroy You, You Have to Figure Out How to Let Them Be Your Gasoline , Your Success Fuels Your Life (Host At TLC, Los Angeles)

Ananda Lewis

People go through things and everybody is going through something. It’s not just me. Sometimes we can get stuck in this, “Why it’s me. What’s wrong? Why is this happening to me?” 

It’s not just happening to you. It’s happening to everybody, right? It might be a different thing, specifically, that’s happening, but hardships are happening. Everywhere to everybody.

I almost think at this point that life is about hardships and how you get through them and who you become as a result of them.

So instead of letting the hardships define you and destroy you, you have to figure out how to let them be your gasoline, right? How to let them fuel. Your success fuels your life because you are not alone in the hardships and life is tough, but so are you.

1. Tell us about your background and journey.

My background is in working with teenagers and young people, and I’ve been doing that since I was about 13. When I went to college at Howard University, I was majoring in history with a desire to teach and how to plan to go into teaching for America after college. 

Then when I got the audition for Teen Summit and then booked that job, that left turned me out of my teaching desires. 

With that summer, I was actually teaching and it was a training camp, a youth Leadership institute program that I was doing in the summertime. 

I was working with kids when I got the audition for Teen Summit and it made it make sense, So, my background is really in children and helping my peers and then it evolved into TV.

 

2. Did you ever think or dream of hosting or acting in TV shows?

I never did. It wasn’t something that I thought about at all. I didn’t come from a family where that was an acceptable thing to do, so they really wanted me to be a lawyer, and I knew I didn’t want to be a lawyer, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. 

It was important to me to try different things and see what I liked, but I didn’t really get a chance to do that because of the way that I went, like right into college, right into a degree, so I did not think of hosting or acting, but I knew I could do kind of whatever.

I just didn’t think that would be it. But I’m glad it worked out the way it did.

 

3. How can one approach their career and have the confidence and belief to make it on a TV show?

Everybody is different and everybody’s path to this career is different. My path really depended on me just being myself and not being worried about if the people I was auditioning for were gonna like me or not.

I walked in there like what? This is me you want it and not? So I think that  confidence was automatically in me and I think most people who want to go into this kind of field actually have a lot of confidence too because they’re already able to kind of speak in front of people or get in front of people.

So, I would say the way that someone who wanted to be in television or do TV shows could approach their career is really by being themselves and remembering that you know, of the 8 billion people on the planet, you’re the only you, and no one is ever going to do what you do the way you do it. 

So instead of trying to imitate other people or being like them, just get really clear on who you are. Be your unique self, because that’s what’s un-duplicatable.

 

4. If not this, what would you be doing?

I would be teaching or I’d be a mom with like 10 kids. I really, really thought I would have a lot of kids when I was in my 20s.

I love kids and so I was like, I have all these ideas about mothering, and now we need to do things. And I just really thought I’d have a lot of kids, but I didn’t start early enough.

And so, I only have one. But I would definitely be a mother to a lot of children.

 

5. How did you deal with the hardships of your life? 

Well, I’ve had a lot of hardships in my life, but I’ve also learned and realized that everybody has hardships in their life. And so, for me, one of them, I guess, the best ways I’ve learned to deal with it is by reminding myself that this is normal, life is hard. 

People go through things and everybody is going through something. It’s not just me. Sometimes we can get stuck in this, “Why it’s me. What’s wrong? Why is this happening to me?” 

It’s not just happening to you. It’s happening to everybody, right? It might be a different thing, specifically, that’s happening, but hardships are happening. Everywhere to everybody.

I almost think at this point that life is about hardships and how you get through them and who you become as a result of them.

So instead of letting the hardships define you and destroy you, you have to figure out how to let them be your gasoline, right? How to let them fuel. Your success fuels your life because you are not alone in the hardships and life is tough, but so are you.

 

6. What is your mantra of success?

My mantra for success has not always been this, but these days it’s you’re gonna die anyway. Have fun and do what you wanna do. 

And I wish I had that mantra earlier in life. I don’t have some foreboding feeling about my life.

We are all going to die, and as morbid as that sounds to think about too often, I think remembering it sometimes is super important because we’re living these, snap of a finger and it’s over lives, they’re really short and they feel like they go on forever sometimes, especially when they’re difficult. 

We feel like the difficulty will never end but it will, and when it’s over, we all have the same fate. We all die to get out of here. That’s the only way out. So, while you’re here, enjoy it. Don’t hurt people.

Do the things that you want it to be done to you because that’s going to help your experience be better. You’re going to have a better outcome when you have the energy you put out. 

Coming back to you and its good energy. That means what’s coming back to you is good stuff. And so, my mantra for success is. Yeah, you’re gonna regret not doing it when you’re dead. So do it.

 

7. Which is your favourite book and why? 

My favourite book is the four agreements by Miguel Ruiz. It’s my favourite book right now. I have a lot of favourite books, but that’s my favourite right now because the four agreements that it speaks about are so important to apply to life and they’re so important to remember. 

And if you haven’t read that book, I definitely recommend it and I will tell you what the four agreements are. The four he speaks about are the first one is being impeccable with your word speak with integrity, say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. 

The second one is, don’t take anything personally. This one is so important. Nothing others do is because of you what others do and say is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. This one is so important because so many of us are worried.

So much of the time we have anxiety about, “Oh my gosh! are they doing this because I did this? Or am I the reason for this or did something I say make them get so freaked out?” and nothing anybody does is because of us even if we try to influence them when they do it, it’s because of them and we are not responsible. For what they do, nor is it a true reflection of us. 

It’s a reflection of what their life is about, and they are just sharing that with us and expressing that to us in what they’re doing and saying. Leave when people are attacking you. It’s not about you, it’s about them. His third of the four agreements. Is don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. 

Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama with just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. Yes. Can you imagine if people actually said exactly what they wanted and were clear about it? All the time.

Then we could either provide what they wanted or needed or tell them that we couldn’t provide it. But either way, everybody would be clear. There’s no ambiguity. There are no games, there’s no sneakiness and snideness because people are trying to trick you and they want you to think this. But it’s really this. There’s no sleight of hand. 

There’s just clean. Communication and understanding and saying what it is you need. I apply this and it is magical. It is not easy. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable, to be honest with people, but doing the work to be able to do that is so worth it. In the end, the 4^th agreement is always to do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment. 

It will be different when you’re healthy as opposed to sick under any circumstance. Simply do your best and then you’ll avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. This one has applied to me in so many jobs specifically because I’m really good at what I do because it comes easy to me.

I can really just talk. And I don’t care if there’s a camera or a person like I am a talker and I’m good with people. I like people. I’m personable. I have an I guess, decent personality that people like. I’m grateful for all that, but because of all that, I started thinking at some point.

I think when I was at MTV, I started to go. I don’t have to prepare for this. I can go up there and just wing it and do a good job. Wrong. That was not me doing my best, me being prepared, doing my homework, doing the research on the artist, listening to the songs, or watching the videos was what I should have been doing right? But I was just kind of gliding, coasting on my natural talent and ability, and that’s cool. 

But it wasn’t my best. And I do look back, not with regret. But just with hindsight, going wow, could you imagine how much more I could have made out of it if I had just done my best? I really lucked up on some easy work, and it also made me a little lax and I was like, I don’t even have to study. I got this. 

And it was true. I did a great job most of the time. But nowadays I really apply to do my best and I make sure I’m being honest with myself about whether or not it’s my best and the outcome is way better.

Interviewed by - Deepshikha