Source: Velivada
From ancient times, women and men are always treated differently. In politics, the workplace, educational institutions, and social spaces, patriarchy is still practiced.
But the most common patriarchal control is the one that thrives in our families which often gets ignored by saying “It is a personal matter”. You can remove it from the roots by spreading more awareness and pointing out what is wrong.
Patriarchal beliefs have negative impacts on society which affected women as well as men. It can limit our opportunities and existence too. Having a mindset like this prevents us from achieving our full potential.
You must have listened in your childhood, “Boys don’t cry” or “Sports is not for girls” etc., etc. Don’t you feel ashamed a little? How does this society work? Because I feel it. How people casually pass these comments without even thinking that it will affect the mental health of others.
But in past few years, many women have come to the front row by protesting against it. Many organizations and clubs were also made to dismantle patriarchy. Very less but some men supported and helped women in this regard. So it’s very high time for men to play a role in dismantling the patriarchy.
Mentioned below are some steps which you can take as men:
Recognize That It Exists
Although the Constitution has banned practices like child marriage, caste discrimination, and dowry, they are practiced widely even today. The biggest reason behind this is that families still think it is part of the tradition.
So the first step toward dismantling patriarchy is to change this tradition. As men, you have to recognize that it exists and examine your position in this system. You have to know that you have received a lot of privileges, big and small. In your own home also, you must have seen how the rules and expectations are different for men than for women who belong to the same family.
So, oppose those practices as much as you can. People might ignore and criticize you, but don’t give up.
Understand the Meaning of No and Learn Consent
Whether you are at home or outside, learn to say ‘no’. We are not able to say our parents or elders ‘no’ even if they are wrong as we always think that they are older than us and we must respect them. Isn’t it?
You must have listened to or even seen in the newspaper headlines about the wrongdoings of in-laws to their daughters-in-law. But where was his husband? Why doesn’t he protect his wife? That’s because maybe he can’t say no to his family.
Apart from this, sometimes people don’t understand the concept of consent also. Men see sex as a contest to see if they can convince a woman to say yes against her better judgment. So, so you have to understand consent needs to be mutual, free, and enthusiastic. Feeble nos are not yeses!
Don’t Normalize Misogynistic Behavior
The time has come to change your attitude towards patriarchy. People must recognize situations when they are making women uncomfortable, whether at a bar, classroom, or board meeting.
Groups of men talking over women, excluding women’s perspectives, or commenting on them are so normalized in this society which make women unsafe around them.
You don’t have to engage in ‘locker room talk’, or objectify women. Call out your family members and friends if they’re engaging in WhatsApp groups that share misogynistic jokes and pictures. Explain to them why such behavior is wrong and creates an imbalance in society.
Believe and Support the Survivors
People usually blame survivors or shame them. They don’t believe what they have to say and think that they are doing it for 15 seconds of fame. All of this creates more problems or trauma for survivors.
So it’s better not to speak anything if you can’t say nice things. Don’t call them liars or sluts or anything bad. Create safe spaces for them to share their stories and try to understand that they are reliving the trauma. So, don’t re-trigger them.
Treat Everyone Equally
This movement is not just about women’s rights, it is a human rights movement. Everybody has a right to live a life free from inequality.
We should normalize the idea that everyone should be treated equally whether it’s about cooking or cleaning the house or going outside and earning money for their family. We don’t have the right to impose that this job is for women or that job is for men. Men have to share the housework, problems, and properties equally with women.
Last but not the least, parenting responsibility should be shared by both parents. The best example is the Virat Kohli, who had taken paternity leave to be with his wife Anushka Sharma when they were giving birth to their first child.
Talk Openly About Women’s Stuff
One of my friends shares her experience with me. She said, “I talk openly about periods in front of my school male friends. And they don’t make weird faces when I do so which makes me safe and comfortable around them. But when I am with other male classmates, they make weird faces and get shy. Not only with my male classmates but this happened with my female friends too. ”
To dismantle patriarchy we need to talk about periods, sex, and sexuality openly. This should not only be done among mothers, daughters, or female friends/relatives/colleagues but fathers, brothers or male friends should also get involved.
In schools also, webinars are held for girls only. Which always makes me wonder why don't boys have those kinds of things? Why don’t they also teach them about women's stuff? It would have been great if do so.
This process should start from home otherwise people internalize them in their upbringing and carry them forward to the next generations.
Written by - Vipasha
Edited by - Kritika Sharma
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