Asexuality is an umbrella term and exists on a spectrum. Asexual people – also known as “Ace” or “Aces” – may have little interest in having sex, even though they desire emotionally intimate relationships.
One of the individuals in this spectrum of the LGBTQIA+ Community was interviewed for this article and the individual information will not be disclosed.
Is It Really That Problematic to Not Be Interested in Romantic Relationships?
I am the kind of person for whom the ideal way of life involves being wealthy, having no social contacts, reading books while living in the woods, and adhering to a vegan diet.
My ideal life would be something like the scary stories that were told to children when they were young about witches. To tell you the truth, I have nothing good to say about kids. Just that I like them enough to prevent me from having any interaction with them.
When people find out about this, the one question that everyone who is close to me asks me is: “Don’t you want a family?”
“No.” That settles it for me; I don’t.
However, after that, a load of questions will be asked.
“Well, what do your folks have to say about it?”
They remain silent because I haven’t broken the news to them yet. Whenever they hear about this particular statement, the people I know immediately begin to criticize me.
Because in their view, the fact that a woman in our society is single and not married constitutes a problem. Because it’s human nature to evaluate a woman according to the terms of her relationships with men. Being a wife and a mother are ultimately the most respected roles that a woman can play in society.
Aristotle, who lived a very long time ago, was the first person to theorise that man is a social animal. However, being around other people can be a draining experience for me personally. It makes me anxious, and I have to work harder to maintain control of my words, thoughts, facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
How it All Started?
If there is anyone who is aware of this, they have suggested that I speak with a professional and even consider therapy. But this has been how I’ve felt the entire time. I was an introverted child rather than an outgoing one when I was younger.
Even though the people who tell me I need therapy do so out of concern for me, hearing those words can make me feel as though everything in my life is falling apart at the seams. It seems as though you should not be living your life in such a manner.
For the entirety of my life, I have been unable to fathom what the devil could possibly be wrong with the way in which another person and I both have desires. Someone else desires to engage in social interaction, but I have no interest in doing so.
A close friend of mine approached me with a very personal inquiry regarding the fact that I do not want love or a relationship.
What about sex? You do need it, don’t you?
More specifically, sexual encounters and interactions. And I came to the realization that at no point in my life did I ever have the desire to have sexual relations with another person as a result of this question. I owe a debt of gratitude to my friend for the fact that she inquired about this matter.
I became aware of my asexuality as a direct result of her. That I don’t develop a sexual attraction to a particular person. This elucidated a great deal of previously unknown information. In the same way that I have never had any reaction to attractive people. And how, throughout the entirety of my time in school, I never had a crush on anyone.
When my high school friends would talk about how attractive boys and girls were becoming, I had no reaction at all. Believe me when I say that this was a huge deal. According to psychologists, one of the most significant steps in the maturation process of any teenager is the process of searching for and establishing romantic and social relationships, as well as an ideal standard for relationships.
And as far as I can recall, watching cartoons were the one and only thing that kept me captivated when I was a teenager.
I didn’t watch the Twilight series because Bella and Edward have such sizzling chemistry, I was intrigued by the fact that vampires possessed special abilities. Despite the fact that the story and the fight scene weren’t particularly well done, I couldn’t stop watching them. Despite this, I never once detected a quickening of their heartbeats when they were in love with one another. This all finally lead to a self-discovery that I was an asexual.
The question "don't you have a relationship?” is the one that invariably brings up the subject, despite the fact that I don’t generally go around telling people anything about my asexuality.
My Identity and My Society
India is a very sexually active society, despite the fact that we don’t admit it very often. It is a broad statement, but if we consider our history, arts and culture, and population, we can see that it is accurate.
Therefore, being a deviant means that you do not desire sexual activity. In response to that, I believe people in society have a range of conflicting emotions. In the same way that they would prefer that you keep quiet about it and don’t discuss it with anyone else but they want you to want sexual intercourse with a particular man.
I don’t know how we got to the point in our culture where we don’t want anything to do with sex, but according to a report in the Huffington Post, approximately 100 million people in India engage in sexual activity on a daily basis, making India one of the most sexually active countries in the world in terms of its total population.
However, discussing sexuality is considered extremely taboo because it has the potential to taint the reputation of the person whose sexual life is being discussed and cause the person’s name to be smeared in public.
People often inquire as to the reason(s) behind my lack of a romantic partner.
I simply state that I haven’t located the ideal option just yet. They have a better understanding of the logic behind that. However, our families, other relatives, and our friends put a lot of pressure on us to either be in a committed relationship or to get married because they believe that this is a woman’s duty.
Conclusion
This can get to the point where it’s almost intolerable. We don’t want to morph into a different person than who we were created to be. The feelings in one’s gut, which are what ultimately control behavior, have no language to express themselves.
Both marriage and sexual activity just don’t sit well with me.
It was then that I came to the conclusion that I was asexual.
Written by - Aleena
Edited by - Kritika Sharma
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